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Blazing Souls: Accelate

7thCircle7thCircle Proofer of the RealmRPGamer Staff
edited February 2011 in Staff Review Blogs
Time: 11/19/10 11AM
Game Time: 20 minutes

I started the game last night, and was treated to a brief intro about the events that occurred just before the game begins. You see, the Seven Years War just ended, and after a thousand years of constant warfare....

Wait, wait, wait, stop! The Seven Years War ended, which concluded a thousand years of constant warfare? At least the game lets you know right from the start that nothing is going to make sense.

So apparently people have been fighting for 1,000 years -- and why are Japanese settings always hooked on 1,000 years? That's such a ridiculously long time. Magna Carta 2 took place 1,000 years after a big war. Valhalla Knights 2 did as well. I still haven't played it, but I recall from reviews that Lost Odyssey did too. How stupid. -- Anyway, people have been fighting for 1,000 years nonstop and now the Earth's soul magic has been drained and it's going to create some new souls to regenerate the itself. The intro implies this is bad. Like, the Earth will regenerate itself by killing everyone currently living on it.

Which brings us to our protagonist... a jerk of a mercenary who talks to himself in combat, loudly telling braindead monsters how awesome he is and how they aren't going to put up a fight. A jerk protagonist... he immediately reminds me of Galahad from Neverland Card Battles, another Idea Factory game. Yay. But this is a surprise -- after killing the monsters he returns to the guild to find out that -- oh no! -- he has to team up with 3 other badass jerk mercenaries for his next mission. The game lets me know these guys are really badass. One of them states that he does mercenary work FOR FUN not for money. Badass. The chick mercenary won't tell the protagonist her name, because she says she's so badass, HE has to tell HER his name first. He does. Then she does. Badass. The third guy is taciturn, although he does speak his name. Badass. The fact that this game's entire script thus far has been nothing but crappy, grade-school trash talk also reminds me of Neverland Card Battles. Super yay.

Other than that, I can say the graphics are fugly, the music is so awful I muted the PSP before the first battle was over, and combat moves at a slow, slow pace. There's a hidden-ish tutorial in the game, but it displays text so slowly, I think I'm going to wing it instead of wasting time with that.
The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions.

Comments

  • Alex FullerAlex Fuller Managing Editor RPGamer Staff
    edited November 2010
    I gave it a quick hour or two. It wasn't encouraging. *goes back to finishing Last Window before attempting to subject himself to any more*
    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
    Twitter: severinmira | Xbox Live: Severin Mira | PSN: severinmira (EU) | NNID: severinmira
    Final Fantasy XIV: Sevvi Taubemira (Leviathan)
  • flamethrowerflamethrower Member Full Members
    edited November 2010
    Actually it was 962 years...but 1,000 sounds more ominous. -Master Fung, Xiaolin Showdown, on why 1,000 years is always used.
  • NyxNyx Staff Girly Girl RPGamer Staff
    edited November 2010
    Fugly is my word! Stop stealing my words, 7th! >D
  • 7thCircle7thCircle Proofer of the Realm RPGamer Staff
    edited November 2010
    Nyx wrote: »
    Fugly is my word! Stop stealing my words, 7th! >D

    You can't claim a word is yours just because you say it every time you look in a mirror. You don't see me trying to copyright "hotnessest."
    The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions.
  • NyxNyx Staff Girly Girl RPGamer Staff
    edited November 2010
    7thCircle wrote: »
    You can't claim a word is yours just because you say it every time you look in a mirror. You don't see me trying to copyright "hotnessest."

    I USED IT ALL THE TIME. And not when I'm next to a mirror! I'm sexy, dammit. SEXY.

    Go play Blazing Souls. >> You know you want to.
  • 7thCircle7thCircle Proofer of the Realm RPGamer Staff
    edited February 2011
    This game is awful and I'm never playing it again. I highly recommend that no one ever play it.

    List of games I've started playing to review, but quit because they were teh suck is up to 3:
    Mega Man Star Force 2: Zerker x Ninja
    Risen (360)
    Blazing Souls: Accelate

    Those three games are worse than Valhalla Knights 2, I give them each a 0/5, and if you see a copy of them anywhere -- for sale in a store, at your grandmother's house, in a child's hand at McDonald's -- YOU DESTROY THEM IMMEDIATELY! DESTROY!!!!
    The lesson here is that dreams inevitably lead to hideous implosions.
  • OcelotOcelot is not declawed Full Members
    edited February 2011
    Hmm, and where does Cladun fit in here, 7th? Hmm?
    Becky Cunningham, Happy Snappy RPGamer Alum
    Twitter: BeckyCFreelance
  • MacstormMacstorm Ysy St. Administrators
    edited February 2011
    I think he actually beat or came close to beating Cladun. Just too busy (read: lazy) to review it.
    "The universe is already mad. Anything else would be redundant."
    Twitter @FinalMacstorm
  • Alex FullerAlex Fuller Managing Editor RPGamer Staff
    edited February 2011
    7thCircle wrote: »
    This game is awful and I'm never playing it again. I highly recommend that no one ever play it.

    I managed to get into a state where I couldn't advance anything after about 4 hours. There is careful consideration going into a ritualistic disposing of the game so it may never come back to haunt me.
    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
    Twitter: severinmira | Xbox Live: Severin Mira | PSN: severinmira (EU) | NNID: severinmira
    Final Fantasy XIV: Sevvi Taubemira (Leviathan)
  • OcelotOcelot is not declawed Full Members
    edited February 2011
    In other words, Blazing Souls Accelate is NOT in the "so bad it's good" category of bad?
    Becky Cunningham, Happy Snappy RPGamer Alum
    Twitter: BeckyCFreelance
  • Alex FullerAlex Fuller Managing Editor RPGamer Staff
    edited February 2011
    It is most definitely not.
    "Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so."
    Twitter: severinmira | Xbox Live: Severin Mira | PSN: severinmira (EU) | NNID: severinmira
    Final Fantasy XIV: Sevvi Taubemira (Leviathan)
  • FunctionFunction Member Full Members
    edited February 2011
    It's funny when developers try to make the main hero so cocky that he doesn't listen to no one, but in a way he's only being manipulative by another character...
This discussion has been closed.