If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the Forum Rules. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
Welcome to RPGamer's new forums running under Vanilla Forums! If you're run into any odd or strange issues after our software migration please see this thread for details

Best.  Website.  Ever.

MasterChiefMasterChief I didn't learn anything!Full Members
edited February 2008 in Entertainment
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

If you've ever wanted to laugh at the absurdities of the major religious texts, the Sceptic's Annotated Bible is the place to go. Here's a fave of mine from the Koran.

<div></div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">4:157 And because of their saying: We slew the Messiah, Jesus son of Mary, Allah's messenger - they slew him not nor crucified him, but it appeared so unto them; and lo! those who disagree concerning it are in doubt thereof; they have no knowledge thereof save pursuit of a conjecture; they slew him not for certain.

Jesus was not crucified. (It just looked like he was.)</div>

And from the book of Revelations.

<div></div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">7:1 And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.

The earth is flat and square-shaped, or at least quadrilateral in shape.</div>

<div></div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">8:10 And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;

In the bible, stars are just little lights that can fall to the ground from the sky.</div>

<div></div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">8:11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.

Some believers say that the 1986 nuclear disaster at Chernobyl was the fulfillment of the third trumpet in 8:10-11.</div>
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What the f--- is a Shakespeare?"
-Rico Valasquez, showing off why no one likes him.

Comments

  • Aquila HawkAquila Hawk O_o Full Members
    edited January 2008
    The best explaination of Revelations I have ever heard was analogous to physicists working for Bell Labs. Every few years, scientist at Bell Labs are required to take a sabatical. Why? Because they are constantly thinking about such invisible but profound forces of nature that they eventually lose touch with their own world. In a very real sense, they go insane. Well, John didn't have a senior researcher there to tell him "wo! You've been trying to unlock the mystery of God too long. You need a break." So, basically, Revelations is very much the result of brilliant madness. rock.gif
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    AquilaHawk on Battle.Net: Currently playing Starcraft II
  • Confessor RahlConfessor Rahl Member Full Members
    edited January 2008
    Pretty funny stuff... it is of course assuming you take the frame of mind that the bible is intended to be taken literally rather than for its philisophical value, as a conduit for the messages of god.

    I take the approach that it is a nice little book of stories for people to lean on filled with massive contradictions, hypocrisy, as well as profound and important messages.

    It's a book. This website is hilarious though.
    "Back when FF9 was coming out. People were rejoicing because it was actually a fantasy game and not a sci-fi game like 7 and 8. It's hilarious in modern context, with everyone wanking themselves to dehydration at the thought of a FF7 remake."
  • CidolfasCidolfas Member Full Members
    edited January 2008
    Yeah... people who take everything in the Bible literally are pretty scary. And also lack a sense of humor, most of the time.
  • Aquila HawkAquila Hawk O_o Full Members
    edited January 2008
    <div>
    (Cidolfas @ Jan. 30 2008,10:48)</div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">Yeah... people who take everything in the Bible literally are pretty scary. And also lack a sense of humor, most of the time.</div>
    *cough*Huckabee*cough*WBC*cough*

    Excuse me, I just had to clear my throat. laugh.gif
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    AquilaHawk on Battle.Net: Currently playing Starcraft II
  • Seargent06Seargent06 Member Full Members
    edited January 2008
    yeah people who take the bible to seriously probably need to get there brains checked. laugh.gif
    [url=\"http://obelisk1planethell.blogspot.com\"]Visit my blog[/url]

    \"Smile It will confuse people and make them wonder what your thinking\"
  • Confessor RahlConfessor Rahl Member Full Members
    edited January 2008
    I say there is a lot of it to take seriously as it says a lot.

    But literally?

    Ridiculous. You get groups like WBC. The funny thing is they like to pick and choose what they choose literally and forget all the rest.
    "Back when FF9 was coming out. People were rejoicing because it was actually a fantasy game and not a sci-fi game like 7 and 8. It's hilarious in modern context, with everyone wanking themselves to dehydration at the thought of a FF7 remake."
  • JeffreyJeffrey Member Full Members
    edited January 2008
    <div>
    (ConfessorRahl @ Jan. 30 2008,13:04)</div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">The funny thing is they like to pick and choose what they choose literally and forget all the rest.</div>
    Er. But isn't that what everyone who takes the Bible seriously does?
    [url=\"http://evilpandapirate.tumblr.com/\"]Tumblr[/url] | [url=\"http://twitter.com/EvilPandaPirate\"]Twitter[/url]
    \"FFXII doesn't really have a story to tell, and so it doesn't. FFXIII doesn't really have a story to tell, but has hours of cutscenes anyway.\" -SiliconNooB
  • bain_nickbain_nick Be Water my friend Full Members
    edited January 2008
    Pretty much, heck I know I do.

    Book of Bain: Paragraph 1:

    And let it be told, that Bain was almighty, after he conquered the crisps, with their many flavoured tactics, he basked in the radience of his PS3 and Wii. PS2 cried.
    http://melodysheep.bandcamp.com/track/be-water-my-friend-bruce-lee (Youtube video been taken down soooo)
    Steam: bain_nick Add me, maybe we can play something together.
    League of Legends: NA Server: Bainick
    The problem with HM/RF games for me, is the opposite of my issues in real life.
  • VigivalgusVigivalgus Member Full Members
    edited January 2008
    <div>
    (Aquila Hawk @ Jan. 29 2008,21:40)</div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">The best explaination of Revelations I have ever heard was analogous to physicists working for Bell Labs. Every few years, scientist at Bell Labs are required to take a sabatical. Why? Because they are constantly thinking about such invisible but profound forces of nature that they eventually lose touch with their own world. In a very real sense, they go insane. Well, John didn't have a senior researcher there to tell him "wo! You've been trying to unlock the mystery of God too long. You need a break." So, basically, Revelations is very much the result of brilliant madness. rock.gif</div>
    Brilliant.


    If you think that the central argument to Rev. 8:10 is that stars are twinkling little lights, then you are doing religion wrong. Try again.
  • Aquila HawkAquila Hawk O_o Full Members
    edited January 2008
    What's even crazier, is that John may have not been prophesying at all. The beast had 7 heads and a number (666). How significant are these numbers? Emperor Nero's name (Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus) in Hebrew had a numerical value of 666 in numerology. What about the 7 heads? How about the 7 Hills of Rome. The other thing is, it can be interpreted that the seven headed beast represents the land Rome rests on while the harlot (occasionally called "Babylon") represents the godless (from a 1st century AD Jew's perspective) and materialistic civilization of Rome. So some scholars have suggested that the rebellion that forced Nero out of power was the will of God (Revelations was written after Nero committed suicide to avoid execution).
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    AquilaHawk on Battle.Net: Currently playing Starcraft II
  • Options
    edited February 2008
    It's the book of Revelation, not Revelations. Don't care either way, but if you happen to go on Jeopardy and say "What is Revelations?" Alex won't give you the moneyz y0. And now you know, and the next time someone calls it Revelations, you can correct them and come off sounding like a douche as I have done just now.
  • MasterChiefMasterChief I didn't learn anything! Full Members
    edited February 2008
    Hehe, true.

    Anyway, here's one you ladies'll like, from the book of Horsea (Isn't that a Pokemon name?).

    <div></div><div class="QUOTEHEAD">QUOTE</div><div class="QUOTE">
    3:1 Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the children of Israel, who look to other gods, and love flagons of wine.

    3:2 So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:</div>

    Hm, I wonder how much you girls go for nowadays... cool.gif
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What the f--- is a Shakespeare?"
    -Rico Valasquez, showing off why no one likes him.
Sign In or Register to comment.